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My wife says that a 10 inch pizza should be for 2 people, but I told her she could easily handle it even though she's a very petite woman.

Petite girls are often able to handle more than curvy girls. I am a curvy girls who couldn't handle 7 inches. I just use the 4 or 5 inches I can handle and leave the rest.

I would do my best to accommodate the ten inches, but the biggest "pizza" I have taken was a 9" one lol, and that was very filling!

Was that a regular pizza? Or the one where the creamy cheese is in the crust, and it fills your mouth with creamy goodness? That may make it too much pizza to handle by one petite girl poopypuss.

Honestly, no, it would be too much. But there are ladies who would disagree. It depends on the individual. Just because one person can handle it doesn't mean all can.

I brought a fresh hot 10" and helped stuff her You just sat there watching.. LOL i 10inch pizza is small, a 10inch dick is too much, your not having sex with king kong over here.

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A few beg to be extended to novel length. The stories are wholly character-driven, and the characters themselves are authentic.

Perrotta is never afraid to portray warts and all. View all 11 comments. Sep 30, James Thane rated it really liked it Shelves: short-stories.

The title story actually involves two teachers who may have missed each other like ships passing in the night and who are now assigned to chaperone a dance.

Nine inches is the minimum distance that the dancers are supposed to maintain from each other, but what distance should separate the two main characters, especiall I've enjoyed very much Tom Perrotta's novels, especially The Abstinence Teacher and The Leftovers , and now I can add to that list his new collections of short stories, Nine Inches.

Nine inches is the minimum distance that the dancers are supposed to maintain from each other, but what distance should separate the two main characters, especially when one is now married?

All of these stories involve suburban characters whose lives did not necessarily work out as the American Dream suggested they should, and Perrotta excels at capturing the distance between their aspirations and the reality of their lives.

As is always the case in a collection like this, some of the stories are stronger than others, but there's not a weak one in the bunch.

This is a book that should appeal to a large number of readers. View all 3 comments. Aug 12, Neil McCrea rated it liked it Shelves: first-reads , suburban-malaise , literary-fiction , short-stories.

I've seen the movie adaptations of Little Children and Election, but this is my first dip into Perrotta's writing.

There has been a lot of hype about him from my circle of friends and the press, and I suspect this is precisely why I've been avoiding him. The book blurbs on this ARC alone make me cringe.

Steinbeck and Perrotta are so far apart in style and intent that this flippant comparison seems insulting to both.

There is also a comparison to Checkhov that seems I've seen the movie adaptations of Little Children and Election, but this is my first dip into Perrotta's writing.

There is also a comparison to Checkhov that seems foolish, and one to Carver that may actually be appropriate. Onward, I shall endeavor to give him a fair shake despite my distaste for the marketing machine.

Backrub The "perfect" whitebread suburban student fails to get into any of the colleges he applied despite having high SATs, a high GPA, and having done everything "right".

Now stuck in a workaday rut as a pizza delivery boy, he finds himself regularly harassed by a cop that just wants to give him a backrub.

This story could have been a subplot on a season of Weeds, that's not necessarily a bad thing. Grade My Teacher A high school teacher discovers a student has been slagging off about her online, and decides to confront the student about it.

This is a solid character study. It's nicely understated when it could easily have turned melodramatic. Perrotta writes women well.

The Smile On Happy Chang's Face An umpire at a little league championship game uses the events of the game to reflect on his estranged relationship with his son.

This story ventures into the rarified air of a Raymond Carver story. This one is the first evidence I've had that Perrotta is more than just talented, but may in fact live up to all the hype.

Kiddie Pool A relationship autopsy story. I didn't initially think too much of the story, but it hit me somewhere painful. I left it feeling sad and angry beyond what I would expect from such a tale.

Nine Inches A new father and Jr High School teacher gets stuck on chaperone duty for the school dance. The environment causes him to re-evaluate his relationships.

Solid story, but a little obvious. That's not quite the right word as surprise and novelty isn't the point, but it'll have to do.

Senior Season A sports injury causes a high school senior to re-evaluate his relationships and future plans. This story made me cranky, largely due to my loathing of American high school jock culture.

The baggage is entirely mine and has little to do with the quality of the story. If anything Perrotta's ability to dredge up those feelings in me is a mark in his favor.

One-Four-Five In the aftermath of a failed marriage brought about by his own infidelities, a doctor becomes obsessed with the blues.

My inner class warrior wanted to bitch slap the protagonist, but by the end I had a fair amount of empathy for him. That was a bit of a trick for Perrotta to pull off.

The Chosen Girl An older widow, whose family has moved away, eases her loneliness by imagining conversations between herself and a neighbor girl who is the member of an uncommon religious sect.

Sad and very real, the story is made all the sadder by my personal knowledge of several old ladies in very much the same position.

The Test Taker A socially awkward teen, improves his social life and makes money by taking the SAT for other students.

The All-Night Party A single mother is wrangled into chaperoning a safe prom alternative. The event causes her to reflect on her high school choices, and her abilities as a parent.

This is the most complex of the stories, at least in terms of action and number of characters, yet after reading the previous nine stories I find that it doesn't distinguish itself in any significant way.

Tom Perrotta is indeed an excellent writer even if his fans are given to hyperbole. Any one of these stories would be deserving of at least 4 stars, but taken as a whole the book only gets a 3.

When Raymond Carver writes about suburban malaise, you get the feeling that no matter how claustrophobic and homogenized the setting he could always find something new and interesting to write about in that milieu.

Perrotta, on the other hand, seems to keep circling the same handful of story points repeatedly. I recommend the book, but I suggest taking a significant break from it after each story.

Jan 20, Wendy rated it liked it Shelves: short-stories , This was a nice change of pace. Well written, and a quick read.

However, I kept expecting the stories to have a twist to them, not really sure why. Oct 14, Scott Foley rated it it was amazing.

A friend recommended it to me, and I took his advice mostly because I respect his opinion and I enjoy short stories. Well, I can honestly say that Perrotta instantly made me a fan for life with this collection.

Nine Inches is comprised of several short stories, none of which overtly link together. Thematically, however, each are very similar in how things can go so, so wrong in the blink of an eye.

His characters—sometimes deliberately, sometimes accidentally—act upon those dark thoughts, and Perrotta then throws their lives out of control.

His characters are not always likable, but they are real … they are you … they are me. They are the versions of us after our lives unravel.

My office had a staff meeting a while back. It was a very busy time, and the organization was going through some changes, and morale was getting a little low.

The head of our department had everyone take two post-it notes and asked us all to sum up in one word how we felt in our work life, and how we felt in our home life, and write them on each post it.

The work results were unsurprising — words like busy, challenging, stressful, etc. But the home descriptions were shocking to My office had a staff meeting a while back.

But the home descriptions were shocking to me. Overwhelmingly the results of the home life situations were bleak.

Perotta in general is such an understated writer. His stories always feel so real, so lived-in, but they never take the obvious route.

But Perotta does so in a way that feels very natural. Aug 01, Josh rated it it was ok. I love short stories. I love sad, depressing, twisted, make you think short stories.

This collection is chalked full of those kinds of stories. Yet, I didn't love them as a whole. I'm not sure if they were too depressing although not near as so as others I have gobbled up or if reading just before Christmas time was the contributing factor?

I did really like a few of them; "Kiddie Pool" and "Smile on Happy Chang's face" were good enough to round this from a 2 star to a 2. He certainly has chops as a writer, and I will try him again someday Jul 25, Ken rated it really liked it Shelves: short-story-collection , contemporary , finished-in Though it's true of many books, Tom Perrotta's short story collection bears out H.

Thoreau's words: "The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. Though all are suburban types, some are middle-aged men, others middle-aged women, and a few teenagers.

Perrotta has a sure hand with all of these ages, thanks to his established track record with novels. If you're a fan of Bad Haircut , Perrotta's beguiling debut collection of stories about a kid growing up in the 70s, you'll probably find Nine Inches a tad wanting.

Part of the reason is the lack of continuity due to a variety of characters and situations; part of it is that some of these stories just work a whole lot better than others.

As you might expect of Perrotta, a lot of cops and teachers and wayward teens here. Much edgier than past pieces, too. The opening story is a bit disjointed.

It comes across as disjointed. In a collection where some of the endings try too hard, "Happy Chang" nails it with style. Some stories try too hard to be deep "The Chosen Girl" about a religious cult , some seem like trifles designed to kill time between stories in a sweet way "The Test Taker" about a nerd who takes SATs for dumb, popular kids , and others are worth the cost of admission, even if they are flawed "The All-Night Party" about an overworked, unhappy housewife who gets way too involved during chaperone duties at an all-night graduation party.

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Six performance at the Olivier Awards 2019 with Mastercard So if she can deliver a Rule 34 miss fortune and be fine, you gone be straight. Other Editions Kiddie Pool A relationship autopsy story. May 19, Caroline rated it really liked it Shelves: realistic-fictionhe-wrote-it Schwester muschi, short-stories. The All-Night Party A single mother is wrangled into chaperoning a Hornyhousewife prom alternative. Just a moment Black people fuck we sign you in to your Goodreads account. I left it feeling sad and angry beyond what I would expect from such a tale. Chyler leigh sexy if it is piping hot, ready to ooze with hot gooey-goodness. She worried that she would have to start dating black dudes because he stretched her out. Its been about 2 months since I have had sex. Nine inches for the wife

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